At 25 years old, you wouldn't think that I have much to reflect on when it comes to life. However, in my short time here I've had to overcome many obstacles and tragedies. I don't want to bore you with all the details of everything but I want to share with you some aspects of my life.
The first major obstacle in my life was the divorce of my parents when I was only in 8th grade, at a crucial time in my life. My dad had been cheating on my mom and every aspect of the divorce process was nasty and ugly. It took 4 years to settle everything and finalize the divorce. Unfortunately, my dad never came around or spent any time with myself or my two sisters. He lived just a few blocks away. When you are 13 years old and entering your teenage years, as a girl you need your dad around. That didn't happen for me. As a result I have an estranged relationship with my dad still to this day. However, there are some more things that have added to this.
You can imagine growing up in a household with a dad is tough. What made things more difficult was that at the time my dad walked out on my family, my mother had been a stay at home mom at his request. This left us with nothing. I honestly didn't know what was going to happen to my family and if I would continue to have a roof over my head. Luckily, my mom's family (who all live in town) is fantastic and extremely supportive. They helped my mom get on her feet and find a job so she could make it. There were a lot of struggles and name brand and designer items were never an option for us. Hand me downs were the normal. As I look back on this part of it now it has made me a stronger person and one who doesn't care about material possessions.
The next obstacle I had to overcome was losing my Grandpa Dusty, my mom's dad. He was everything to our family and tried to be a dad to my sisters and I when we needed one. My grandpa's passing was also the first death in the family that I could really understand and was very close to me. My grandfather did so much not only for my family and my extended family but also for the community we live in. My grandfather was a great man.
As I began to deal with the passing of my grandfather, I had to deal with the tragic passing of my best friend was high school. My dork, as I called him, was murdered in Allentown, Pa one night. When I flash back to the day that I learned of Brad's passing I instantly feel the shock, terror, and hurt that I felt that moment. Brad was my best friend and the first person I truly loved. He had a way of always making me feel better on those bad days and always found a way to tell me how proud he was of all I had done. Often Brad would tell me that he knew I was incredibly strong and I could make it through anything. It has now been 4 1/2 years without my best friend by my side. However, I know that he is my guardian angel watching over me.
You would think at this point, I had dealt with enough tragedy in a few years time but that wasn't how my cards would be dealt. After graduating from college I moved away from home to take my first full time teaching job. Things weren't great but they weren't terrible either. That is until about March of 2008. At this point I began to have a lot of trouble with different foods that I ate often breaking out in hives. This was difficult to deal with as I was away from home and had never had issues with foods before. Luckily I had some great friends where I was who helped me when needed. After months of testing and doctors appointments they finally determined that I had a food sensitivity (allergy) to yeast and a few other foods. This is a very random allergy I know but it truly affected how I felt everyday. To get relief and help my body heal I had to go on a very strict diet and it was very difficult for the first few months. However, as I continued to follow the diet and avoid foods and beverages with yeast I felt great. Having an allergy like this is difficult because all labels of foods have to be read and sometimes I can't eat at different restaurants because they can't accommodate me. All in all, it was very difficult to start over again but today I feel great. I don't wake up sick to my stomach, feel extremely tired, constantly have rashes, headaches or break out in hives. It is crazy to think how much was affected due to a simple ingredient in foods.
As I was dealing with the change in diet and adjusting to my new lifestyle because of my allergy the worst day of my life happened. On July 24, 2008 my younger sister Suzanne passed away completely unexpectedly. She went to bed the night before and didn't wake up the next morning. To this day despite an autopsy, we don't know what caused my sister's death. It seriously has been the most difficult thing I've had to overcome in my life so far. Two years later, it is still a challenge on different days. When you lose a sibling at such a young age every single aspect of your life changes. Suzanne wasn't just my sister she was also my best friend. To this day I find myself picking up my cell phone to call and ask her a question or tell her a funny story. Obviously this can't happen. Suzanne was truly the most selfless person I have ever known. She constantly had a smile on her face and found joy in everything she did. Children loved her and she loved them back. All of my cousins who were toddlers and younger at the time of her death constantly talk about her and say that she is the first star in the sky every night. Watching them miss her makes it harder for me some days. However, my goal is to try and live each day to its fullest and enjoy life as I know she is a guardian angel constantly watching over me.
These are just a few major problems that I have had to overcome and push through in my short life. Sometimes I get frustrated over meeting guys that break my heart or working with coworkers who don't do their job, then I stop and look at what I've lost and realize it's not worth getting too upset over. I can only do what I can and I'll make the most of each situation. There are some things in life that I have no control over and as a result I'm going to enjoy my life and have as much fun while I can. Family and friends are what matter. It's not about your clothes, your hair, your makeup, your money, your house or your car. Material objects can't bring you the happiness or comfort that family and friends can. Tell those you love that you love them and do it often because you never know when you won't have another opportunity.
Remember life can be short so make the most of it while you can.
Since I was born and raised Irish Catholic I have grown up cheering for the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame. Every Saturday during football season you can guarantee the game is on television and I'm wearing a Notre Dame shirt hoping that this year they'll be more victorious and win more games. Of course I'm a huge fan and love sports so I sit on the edge of my seat in close games, I argue calls and I cheer as loud as I can when something great happens.
gorgeous and glistens on sunny days. When the sky is blue it is the most beautiful sight to see.
My favorite spot on campus is the Grotto. It's absolutely beautiful and peaceful. Even more amazing is that all people who walk by, Catholic or not, acknowledge the importance and meaning behind this and walk by silently as this is a place of prayer. Each time I go this is my favorite spot to go to and I spend at least twenty minutes there. I offer my prayers and light a candle. My trip in 2008 was probably one of the more difficult and special visits to the Grotto. My sister Suzanne had passed away in July and we went to campus in September. Arriving at the Grotto we took a few minutes to sit and pray. Shortly after we lit a candle and placed her prayer card on the wall with all the other cards of others' loved ones who had passed. I had chills run through me as I placed her prayer card to become a permanent presence at the Grotto, nothing more fitting for my sister who loved Notre Dame as much as life.
Tears followed the placement of her prayer card and more praying came. This was an experience I cannot describe but was absolutely moving.